Dear Lyla,

Yesterday your Nanny and Poppa came over to help Daddy finish the floor in your room. It looks amazing. When you got to go in there...you said "I LOVE IT" You are so funny!
While you were napping..I went to church and when I got back I let your Nanny wake you up. When you finally woke up we took Nanny to the park and showed her how you slide down the big slide all by yourself. It makes me crazy that you do it..but you do a good job..I just worry! You are getting so big. I know I will say that for the rest of your life but you are! After we played at the park we ran by Wal Mart to get a few things for a boy that we go to church with who is living behind our church.
His grandpa kicked him out and he had no where to go. So we took him a few things and invited him over to just hang out for a while. You and Uncle Colton made him feel very welcome. He said he enjoyed himself.
Daddy and I bought you a Power Wheels four wheeler for you birthday and you will NOT ride the thing. You won't push the button to make it go. I have tried and tried to show you how fun it would be...even tried giving you candy! Uncle Colton comes over and says ..hey get on there and show me how you ride it..and you just hop right on and take off!
Stinker!
Supper is cooking right now and you are getting hungry.
Love you with all my heart!

Love,
Your Momma

Dear Lyla,

I can't believe that you are already two! I have had you for two years. God has let me keep you safe and sound for two years. I feel so blessed!
You are such a smart girl. You sing me your ABC's and you count to ten before you bail off the bed and hope that I catch you. You love to sing..and I love to sing with you. We will sing at the top of our lungs dancing around the house and laugh until we cry! You are so much fun to be around. You are so happy and I just adore you!
Right now you are in the living room playing with your doll house while Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on the TV in the bedroom. But without a doubt if I go and turn the channel..you will know and come running.
I pray that you keep singing and dancing. Never let go of the joy you have. It makes you beautiful. All this makeup and skinny jeans that this world is offering...is not beauty. Stay beautiful on the inside and keep smiling...because you have the best smile in the world! I love you!
It is almost time to start getting ready for church so I am going to go snatch you up and cuddle with you until we have to get ready!

Love you,
Your Momma

Why my husband?

Why I met my husband...

The past few Wednesdays at church we have been having prayer meetings...

We go to church...sing...then we take prayer requests....

we turn the lights down...turn some relaxing worship music on...

and find a place to pray

Just you...and God...

talking....listening

I have thoroughly enjoyed these prayer meetings...and I feel like I have gotten alot out of them.

I honestly never thought I would..so I am a little suprised.

To share with you a little of my past...

When I was a little girl...my mom and dad never TOOK me to church...it was MY decision to go. I went to the First Baptist church...

it was the biggest in our little town of 200 people

all my friends went there

they had a summer camp that was awesome

they went on field trips..

and had fun..

but what do you expect when a 10 year old picks out a church..

I wasn't exactly looking for doctrine at that age...

So all my life I have been taught about the Trinity and God not caring what you wear just go to church...how women are to be silent in church......

OK...fast forward a few decades...

When I met my husband..I wasn't going to church..I was to busy being **21** (woohoo!)

So when we decided to get serious...and started the talk about having a family..I told him I want my children to be raised in church...I wasn't and made that decision myself..and I know that God tells you that if you raise a child up in the name of the Lord..when they get older they will not depart from it. And the way this world is...we need Jesus!

The Baptist church where we live now is SO HUGE..that I actually got lost trying to go to the worship center. It is like a college with different buildings...it felt like I was a stranger...I didn't like it.

My husband's family goes to a United Penecostal Church.

What?

Wow!

I didn't know if I could handle that...or turn from my ways and solely accept thiers.

But my first time there...I felt so welcomed...so loved....it was so inviting...

and my first service there I felt the Lord...and realized that it didn't matter what building you were in ...Jesus was everwhere....

So I knew that God knew how confused I was...but I was trying.

and to this day (yes we are back to the present) I am still trying...

There are a few things...that have changed my thinking...

like the Trinity...

I no longer believe in that...

I believe that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is all one thing.

Like I am me, and Lyla is me, and my soul is me

All Me!

I believe that you need to be baptized "in Jesus name for the remission of your sins"

Acts 2:38 tells you plain as day

............and throughout these prayer meetings.....

I have come to realize that the reason I met my husband is so that I would find that church...because there is no way that i would be living in the town i am...going to that church if I hadn't met him.

And my husband and I will talk all the time about how many places we have been in the past...together...but never noticed each other. So crazy!

So it makes me really feel that I have met the ONE that I am supposed to be with on this journey of life.

Our last prayer meeting on Wednesday ...I was praying and just stopped to listen ....I didn't know what I was listening for...or if I would fall asleep...but I started thinking...and thoughts just kept popping in my mind...

like...

if I was walking down my sidewalk...and someone noticed me...would they know as soon as they seen me..that I believe in God.

as hard as that is to answer ...No

Why?

because if you think about it....

if you see a woman in a skirt...with long hair...no make up....

what do you think?

She is Pentecostal. And we all know...that Penecostals "get with it"

They worship...like no other religion I have seen in my life!

When you see a Pentecostal woman ...you know that she believes in God...and that she is a praying woman....

if you have a need...get her to pray with you...

There have been many people just walk up to my mother in law and ask her where she goes to church because they are looking for somewhere to go...just because of what she wears...

and I know this is going to be hard for me...and I really don't wanna do it....I have had all these feeling before...I wrote not to long ago about this same situation here but I am feeling God tug at me....when I wear jeans and a Tshirt....I look like everyone else in this world....I don't want to be OF THIS WORLD...I want this world to know that I plan on seeing Jesus one day!

I want people to know that I am a Godly person....

And if you know me..you know that by all means I am NOT a dressy person...

at all!

So this is going to be hard..and I am going to have to lean on God....alot!

But I feel like if I stepped out in faith and did what God is asking of me..that he will do amazing things through me!

and that is worth it all!

hmm...

just my thought before i go to bed

the fastest two years of my life

This past Sunday we celebrated Lyla's 2nd Birthday!


I , like every other mother, can not believe that my baby is two years old! It seems like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital, waiting for her belly button to fall off, excited to try out the first baby foods. Now we are singing songs, and ABC's, potty training, talking in full sentences.





Where did the time go?





Did I treasure it all?





Did I record everything I wanted to?





I have to say in two years..she is a beautiful, mature, and smart cuppy cake!

There has been hair pulling times and times where I laugh so hard my jaws hurt. Being a mom is the best thing I have done in my life. I know now why I looked forward to it all those years as a child...it is like nothing else.





It is extremely hard but greatly satisfying.





Nothing compares.





I have to admit ...it is sometimes hard on your marriage..it is stressful and you take things out on each other. It is times like these though that you gather the family together, enjoy each other's company and when the chaos is all over Gregg and I pull together and say, "Look what we have done!" and we bask in the pride and joy that we have raised and nurtured for two years.

Lyla's First Shots

Today Lyla got her two month old shots! Mom met me at work with her and we went up to Ft. Smith to Dr. Whittaker's office to get her shots. I was so nervous! I did pretty good though....but I was waiting for the fight because I didn't want her getting five or six shots at a time...that is just to much I think! We waited and waited in the waiting room and by the time we got back into the room we had to wait some more and Lyla started to get sleepy. I didnt want her to go to sleep because if the poked her while she was asleep I figured it would scare her to death so I tried to keep her awake. The nurse came in and wieghed her ( 11 pounds ) and measured her ( 24 inches ) and told us she looked healthy...she was growing good!! Then the dr came in and told us the same thing....he checked her eyes and ears and moved her legs around...he pressed on her belly and hit her tickle spot and she starting cracking up! Then he said the nurse would be in a min to give her the shots....my heart dropped! Well she came in and explained what she would be getting and I explained to her what she wouldn't be getting....and we comprimised on three shots. Two in one leg and the most potent one in the other leg. The first one Lyla didn't cry to bad..then the second and the third...she screamed! I know it hurt and when she hurts...I hurt! So I starting crying because my heart was breaking...and there was nothing I could do to make it stop hurting. When mom seen me start to cry..she started crying...then when Colton seen us all crying he started crying. Colton was more mad than anything...he didn't like that the nurse held her legs down to give her a shot! He took Gregg's place very well..Gregg was at work...I scheduled it that way on purpose because Gregg would have had a fit!!! Well I gave her to mom after she calmed down a little...Mom got her dressed while I fixed her a bottle because she was also hungry and tired along with hurting! So after I got her bottle fixed and she was dressed I held her and walked down to the truck...and cuddled with her for just a min...I think she was OK faster than I was....Grandpa James called about four times to see how she was doing! I called Gregg as soon as we got out to tell him everything was fine! He was worried about her all day today! When we got in the truck...she was fine..and sleepy...she fell asleep about five minutes after we starting driving...so we stopped by Academy to get Uncle Colton a new slingshot..then we went to Wal-Mart to get Lyla some apple juice ...then we went home!
So I think they give infants shots just to torture the mother a little bit more...are they trying to get us ready for the teenage years or what? But they told me on her four month and six month shots...she will cry a little but it won't be as bad! I still don't know if Dad will go to those or not! We'll see.... :)

just wanting to blog

I just felt like blogging today...i was thinking last night that i really need to keep a record of what goes on in these days while Lyla is little..she will cherish these one day when she gets older. I wish my mom had kept a journal or something about what times were like when i was little...wouldn't that be interesting to read? What she went through...how she felt...was she as nervous as i am....was her house clean or dirty...did she ever feel like she was running a million miles an hour and had no time to slow down...not even for a minute...did she have twenty people pulling at her to see the baby and when you get caught up doing something else they take you on a guilt trip on how they are never going to get to see the baby!!
ok that was a little vent....
I do feel like i am going in light speed and my head is just spinning sometimes. Mom usually takes Lyla a couple days to spend time with her and it helps me alot to have those couple of days to clean house...catch up on work stuff...and just sit in silence! I never ask her to take lyla she just wants to spend time with her!
My mom and I havent had the best relationship in the past and just here recently we have gotten back on talking terms...and i am glad we have....she loves lyla...and lyla loves her
she helped me alot through my pregnancy and labor...her and my step dad
I think that is why she loves to spend so much time with her...because it makes us close in a way...it's nice! It touches my heart to see them talk and dance.....and i wonder if she did that with me? How her and dad's relationship was....
You know you think your parents are real people until you grow up and realize that my mom had me younger than when i had Lyla....
anyway back on my subject ...i want to start keeping a journal, blog, or something on what i go through and do during the days that lyla is little so one day she can read this and see that her mom danced with her...her daddy danced with her...we sang together...read stories...she knows the nights I stood by her crib for hours just to make sure she was asleep before I left the room.
Everyone tells you that you just make it when they are little on no sleep...and i was so scared that i wasn't going to be able to stay up with her and do my best...but somehow you do! I don't know how....I called it new mommy adrenaline....that is my only way of explaining how i did it all!
Coming home from the hospital and trying to heal yourself up...doctor all your aches and pains...being so uncomfortable...and running to make bottles at the first hint of a sound is crazy ....but when you become a mommy...it all just seems natural! It put the scripture that God doesn't give you anything you can't bear into realization. I am extremely blessed because as soon as lyla came home she was a good sleeper!
I couldn't ask for anything more in my life right now!!
I have a wonderful husband....and beautiful daughter...a great job....helpful family and friends....and a good church to go to!!!
I just keep asking God to bless me....
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Today Mom has Lyla...When she does keep her me and Gregg both call probably five times a day to check on her. I am sure mom gets tired of talking on the phone but I miss her when she isn't here. me and mom were joking today that she only poops at grandma's house...because i haven't changed a poopey diaper in who knows how long! My mom keeps her while i go to work and after work i go up there and get her...and everyday when i go up there and see her it seems like she has grown so much!! Lyla, grandma and grandpa went to town today shopping then came back home and waited on Uncle Colton to get off the school bus....
Lyla loves her Uncle Colton and her Uncle Colton loves his Lyla
they are a good pair!!! I almost cry everytime I see colton play with her....because i remember when he was that little...i had a big big big hand in taking care of him and to see him love her so much ...chills me!!

I hope i can keep this up....i would love to one day read these to lyla!!! I think with the way the world is changing so fast...it would be something to treasure!

Whew! baths were us out!!

preschool 013, originally uploaded by nicnac724.