if you haven't heard...
I decided that i needed a new start..
so i completely changed email addressed and blog
visit me at www.thebrewersblog.blogspot.com
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Prayer works...Remeber that!
Dear Lyla,
Last Saturday..I don't know the date..but I know this post is dated..so we will figure it out if need be...your dad and I went to play BINGO with your Nanny and PaPa.
So we asked if your Dad's mom and dad could hang with you while we were gone for a few hours...they said yes..which was shocking...because we hadn't been getting along very well...
well..i can't say haven't been getting along...we just haven't talked...
long story
So we took you up there...to play...we took your Dora movie so you would be comfortable and watch your shows..with your Christmas blanket, baby dolls...all of it!
On the way home..we called to check on you...Norma said you were a little warm so she had a rag on your head and you told her, "Nanny I'm sick"
So we stopped by Wal Mart on the way home to get some Tylanol because I wasnt quite sure how much I had..you hadn't been sick in a while.
When we got there to pick you up...as soon as I touched you I knew you were burning with fever..so we got you home and took your temperature.
You had 103.9
Inside..I was flipping..I wanted to choke someone for letting you get like this.
But I know you were depending on me to take care of you and be calm.
We called my mom and stepdad...and told them if I couldn't get it broke in a hour...we were going to the ER...because I didn't know how long it had been that high.
And I really didn't want to take you to the ER because spinal menigitis has been going around and two people from our area had gotten at the ER.
You wouldn't take your medicine..because you had sinus drainage and it gagged you..so I put a cooling Mickey Mouse on your head.
When Nanny and PaPa came you didn't even want to talk to them or have PaPa hold you..so something was seriously wrong.
I just laid you on me and sat on the couch and just prayed with my hand on your back.
If you wouldn't take your medicine....I didn't know how long you had had high fever....I didn't want to take you to the ER....Just Pray!
It should have been the FIRST thing I did.....
About five to ten minutes later..your fever was going down..tremendously! Fast!
You started talking...playing...looking at pictures on our phones...
You were back to Lyla.
Thank God!
God touched you that day...I believe in my soul....he healed you and proved to me that prayer should be the first thing I do..not my last option.
Remember that...Pray
Pray first
Start everything with Prayer...
Start your day with prayer
Start a new relationship with prayer
Start a new job with prayer
everything should START with prayer
I want you to know that God laid his hand on you...and brought your fever down....he loves you...cares for you..and has given you a purpose in this life.
It might take a while for you to figure it out...and you will make plenty of mistakes trying to learn right from wrong...
but i am here....non-judgemental....caring....
God is there....always forgiving and renewing your soul
Life is hard.....
but .........
you have me
your dad
and a mighty God
Lean on us..and you got it made!!!
I love you!
Your Mom
Last Saturday..I don't know the date..but I know this post is dated..so we will figure it out if need be...your dad and I went to play BINGO with your Nanny and PaPa.
So we asked if your Dad's mom and dad could hang with you while we were gone for a few hours...they said yes..which was shocking...because we hadn't been getting along very well...
well..i can't say haven't been getting along...we just haven't talked...
long story
So we took you up there...to play...we took your Dora movie so you would be comfortable and watch your shows..with your Christmas blanket, baby dolls...all of it!
On the way home..we called to check on you...Norma said you were a little warm so she had a rag on your head and you told her, "Nanny I'm sick"
So we stopped by Wal Mart on the way home to get some Tylanol because I wasnt quite sure how much I had..you hadn't been sick in a while.
When we got there to pick you up...as soon as I touched you I knew you were burning with fever..so we got you home and took your temperature.
You had 103.9
Inside..I was flipping..I wanted to choke someone for letting you get like this.
But I know you were depending on me to take care of you and be calm.
We called my mom and stepdad...and told them if I couldn't get it broke in a hour...we were going to the ER...because I didn't know how long it had been that high.
And I really didn't want to take you to the ER because spinal menigitis has been going around and two people from our area had gotten at the ER.
You wouldn't take your medicine..because you had sinus drainage and it gagged you..so I put a cooling Mickey Mouse on your head.
When Nanny and PaPa came you didn't even want to talk to them or have PaPa hold you..so something was seriously wrong.
I just laid you on me and sat on the couch and just prayed with my hand on your back.
If you wouldn't take your medicine....I didn't know how long you had had high fever....I didn't want to take you to the ER....Just Pray!
It should have been the FIRST thing I did.....
About five to ten minutes later..your fever was going down..tremendously! Fast!
You started talking...playing...looking at pictures on our phones...
You were back to Lyla.
Thank God!
God touched you that day...I believe in my soul....he healed you and proved to me that prayer should be the first thing I do..not my last option.
Remember that...Pray
Pray first
Start everything with Prayer...
Start your day with prayer
Start a new relationship with prayer
Start a new job with prayer
everything should START with prayer
I want you to know that God laid his hand on you...and brought your fever down....he loves you...cares for you..and has given you a purpose in this life.
It might take a while for you to figure it out...and you will make plenty of mistakes trying to learn right from wrong...
but i am here....non-judgemental....caring....
God is there....always forgiving and renewing your soul
Life is hard.....
but .........
you have me
your dad
and a mighty God
Lean on us..and you got it made!!!
I love you!
Your Mom
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I missed you!
Dear Lyla,
Last night you spent the night with your Nanny and PaPa because I had to get up at 4am to go to a class for work. Your Daddy had to work too so you got quality time with Nanny and PaPa!! You were so excited!!
I was less excited.
I knew you were going to be safe...I completely trust your Nanny and PaPa (my mom and step dad)...They love you just as much as I do...so I knew you were OK...
it is just..
I haven't been away from you for that long...in a LONG time!
I am used to having you with me.
I like your company.
I like talking to you!
I think it was harder ...well..i know it was harder for me to leave you than for you to be without me because when I left you said.."See yah later! Love you!"
I could not sleep that night to save my life!!
I got three hours of sleep and had to get up and go to Little Rock.
I have no idea how I am still awake..but right now you are in the Living Room watching Minnie Mouse and Daddy will be home soon...and I hope we all fall asleep soon!!!
Tomorrow is church! You love going to church! I love that you love going to church!!
I love You!!
Love,
Mom
Last night you spent the night with your Nanny and PaPa because I had to get up at 4am to go to a class for work. Your Daddy had to work too so you got quality time with Nanny and PaPa!! You were so excited!!
I was less excited.
I knew you were going to be safe...I completely trust your Nanny and PaPa (my mom and step dad)...They love you just as much as I do...so I knew you were OK...
it is just..
I haven't been away from you for that long...in a LONG time!
I am used to having you with me.
I like your company.
I like talking to you!
I think it was harder ...well..i know it was harder for me to leave you than for you to be without me because when I left you said.."See yah later! Love you!"
I could not sleep that night to save my life!!
I got three hours of sleep and had to get up and go to Little Rock.
I have no idea how I am still awake..but right now you are in the Living Room watching Minnie Mouse and Daddy will be home soon...and I hope we all fall asleep soon!!!
Tomorrow is church! You love going to church! I love that you love going to church!!
I love You!!
Love,
Mom
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Dear Lyla,
This letter is a letter of complete appreciation and adoration to you Miss Lyla.
I had to have my gall bladder taken out because I had alot of gall stones. My mom told me that every woman in our family has had to go through this after having thier first child..so I would love to say that you will never have to deal with this...but chances are...you probably will!
But I know that I will be right by your side like my mom was with me.
And to be honest...it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be!!
...you just ran past me going to the bathroom with your panies in your hand...
let's see what is going on..
oh.now the toilet flushed...
You ran in here in the computer room and said,
"See mommy ..it is all gone! I put it in the toilet and flushed it"
I am laughing so hard right now. You are in the living room watching Go, Diego, Go!..you love that show..you just started getting into it...and I guess you had to go to the bathroom but didn't want to miss a good part!!!
oh..you crack me up!!
Anyway...I had to be off work so I could heal from my gall bladder surgery.
Your daddy and I had planned on him taking you to school then your Nanny picking you up to help me take care of you since I couldn't really get up and down very good.
And that happened the first day I was down.
The second day ...you Nanny picked you up and we all went to Nanny's house to celebrate your PaPa's birthday!
The third day and everyday after that...we just hung out!
I had planned on taking you to school...but I enjoy your company!
You make me laugh. We play together. We cuddle and watch TV.
Eat. Talk to Daddy when he calls on his lunch break from work.
I loved hanging out with you!
When it got closer to time for us to get back into our normal routine..I thought I would actually take you back to school so that it wouldn't be so hard on your when we both had to go back.
So when I woke up one morning I asked you if you wanted to go to school or hang with mom and you said,
"I wanna stay with mom"
My heart melted! All I could do was grab you and hug you and give you kisses!!
I hope you say that for a long time to come!
I hope that we always have fun hanging out!
and I promise I will try my hardest to be cool..
but Daddy thinks you are going to want to take him to Prom...
Good Luck with that honey!!
I love you so so so much!!
Thanks for hanging out with me and making my week of recovery the best week of my life!!
Love,
Momma
I had to have my gall bladder taken out because I had alot of gall stones. My mom told me that every woman in our family has had to go through this after having thier first child..so I would love to say that you will never have to deal with this...but chances are...you probably will!
But I know that I will be right by your side like my mom was with me.
And to be honest...it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be!!
...you just ran past me going to the bathroom with your panies in your hand...
let's see what is going on..
oh.now the toilet flushed...
You ran in here in the computer room and said,
"See mommy ..it is all gone! I put it in the toilet and flushed it"
I am laughing so hard right now. You are in the living room watching Go, Diego, Go!..you love that show..you just started getting into it...and I guess you had to go to the bathroom but didn't want to miss a good part!!!
oh..you crack me up!!
Anyway...I had to be off work so I could heal from my gall bladder surgery.
Your daddy and I had planned on him taking you to school then your Nanny picking you up to help me take care of you since I couldn't really get up and down very good.
And that happened the first day I was down.
The second day ...you Nanny picked you up and we all went to Nanny's house to celebrate your PaPa's birthday!
The third day and everyday after that...we just hung out!
I had planned on taking you to school...but I enjoy your company!
You make me laugh. We play together. We cuddle and watch TV.
Eat. Talk to Daddy when he calls on his lunch break from work.
I loved hanging out with you!
When it got closer to time for us to get back into our normal routine..I thought I would actually take you back to school so that it wouldn't be so hard on your when we both had to go back.
So when I woke up one morning I asked you if you wanted to go to school or hang with mom and you said,
"I wanna stay with mom"
My heart melted! All I could do was grab you and hug you and give you kisses!!
I hope you say that for a long time to come!
I hope that we always have fun hanging out!
and I promise I will try my hardest to be cool..
but Daddy thinks you are going to want to take him to Prom...
Good Luck with that honey!!
I love you so so so much!!
Thanks for hanging out with me and making my week of recovery the best week of my life!!
Love,
Momma
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Great Helper!
Dear Lyla,
Yesterday I had to go in and have surgery to get my gall bladder removed. I was so worried that something was going to go wrong. I started noticing every little thing about you.
Your long fingers
Your long eyelashes
Your Daddy's lips
Your grandma's toes
the way you talk
the way you walk
your cute little attitude
and they way you have no worries.
Just looking at you being carefree and happy ...really makes me feel like I am doing my job as a mother right. I know your life won't always be carefree...
There will be boys...you will love them and hate them...
There will be friends that you get into fights with...
School work...college scholarships...
life...
but out of all that..I want you to know..that I am here! Talk to me! About anything! I pray everyday that we have that kind of relationship where you feel comfortable talking to me and seeking my advice.
I know that you won't always take my advice..and I know that sometimes you are going to have learn from your own mistakes...but please know that through it all..i will catch you when you fall..when you are at the your bottom...and you need a hand to get back up..I will be there!!
Yesterday you went to the Monkey House with your Nanny Norma...you dont' see her much...that is a long drama story that I really don't want to concern you with..but you had a good time and that is all that matters.
While you were playing me and Daddy rested from being at the hospital.
When you got home you told me all about your day...and then laid on the couch with Dad and fell asleep.
Today Daddy was going to get you up and take you to preschool...so I could rest..then Nanny Carol was going to pick you up and take you to her house until you were ready for bed. Then bring you home and put you to sleep for me because I can only lift five pounds right now.
But...I missed you like crazy yesterday so you stayed home with me until Nanny picked you up.
You were so good!
You helped me get things...you went potty by yourself like a big girl...
you played and watched tv...
I love you so much..I know God hand picked you just for me!! I am so proud of you!!
When Nanny came to get you ..you kept telling me to sit down because I had boo boo's...you're so sweet and so grown up for your age.
But ...you had a job to do..you had to help Nanny go feed the horses and play with your Uncle Colton..so you had to go!
You told me you loved me..that you were going to eat some peppermints and Cowboy Cheese...and BYE!
I want to cherish these moments right now...because they go by so fast!!
I love You!!
Love,
Mom
Yesterday I had to go in and have surgery to get my gall bladder removed. I was so worried that something was going to go wrong. I started noticing every little thing about you.
Your long fingers
Your long eyelashes
Your Daddy's lips
Your grandma's toes
the way you talk
the way you walk
your cute little attitude
and they way you have no worries.
Just looking at you being carefree and happy ...really makes me feel like I am doing my job as a mother right. I know your life won't always be carefree...
There will be boys...you will love them and hate them...
There will be friends that you get into fights with...
School work...college scholarships...
life...
but out of all that..I want you to know..that I am here! Talk to me! About anything! I pray everyday that we have that kind of relationship where you feel comfortable talking to me and seeking my advice.
I know that you won't always take my advice..and I know that sometimes you are going to have learn from your own mistakes...but please know that through it all..i will catch you when you fall..when you are at the your bottom...and you need a hand to get back up..I will be there!!
Yesterday you went to the Monkey House with your Nanny Norma...you dont' see her much...that is a long drama story that I really don't want to concern you with..but you had a good time and that is all that matters.
While you were playing me and Daddy rested from being at the hospital.
When you got home you told me all about your day...and then laid on the couch with Dad and fell asleep.
Today Daddy was going to get you up and take you to preschool...so I could rest..then Nanny Carol was going to pick you up and take you to her house until you were ready for bed. Then bring you home and put you to sleep for me because I can only lift five pounds right now.
But...I missed you like crazy yesterday so you stayed home with me until Nanny picked you up.
You were so good!
You helped me get things...you went potty by yourself like a big girl...
you played and watched tv...
I love you so much..I know God hand picked you just for me!! I am so proud of you!!
When Nanny came to get you ..you kept telling me to sit down because I had boo boo's...you're so sweet and so grown up for your age.
But ...you had a job to do..you had to help Nanny go feed the horses and play with your Uncle Colton..so you had to go!
You told me you loved me..that you were going to eat some peppermints and Cowboy Cheese...and BYE!
I want to cherish these moments right now...because they go by so fast!!
I love You!!
Love,
Mom
Sunday, January 2, 2011
You told Daddy!
Dear Lyla,
Today you were so funny! You are everyday but today you had me and Daddy cracking up at you!
This morning we slept in until about 9am..then we got up out of bed around 11 and watched some TV and had Dora gummies for breakfast! Shh!
Then we took down our Christmas tree..I had to keep telling you that we got our presents from Santa and we will put it up again next year when we wait on Santa. You kept saying, "Otay"
We slept in so we missed morning church...so getting ready for evening church..you were a HOOT!
Daddy was in the shower trying to get cleaned up and you kept telling him to "Get out of the shower Daddy!"
So I started telling you to tell Daddy that we were going to leave him..and he better hurry up.
But ....you....added in your own words!!!
You told your daddy
"you better get out the shower in five minutes or we are leaving you little boy and i'm gonna fold you like a piece of paper"
All we could do was laugh!!
You have an attitude..let's be honest!! But it is way cute!!
You will tell Daddy you are going to "bust him in the head" sometimes...
but it is his fault because he teaches you all this attitude!!
Then on the way to church...Daddy turned right on red to go to church..and you told him that Sister Myers (our pastors wife and your Sunday school teacher) was going to get his butt for running the red light. Yes..you know that you are supposed to stop on red..and go on green!! And your not even three yet!!
You are so smart!!
When we got to church..Sister Myers DID get Daddy's butt for you!! and you just smiled!!
You didnt' take a nap today so after church on the way home you passed out!! So I took you in the house and slipped you into bed! But right now it is 11pm...and you woke up about an hour ago...so that didn't work out very well for momma because YOU and MOMMA have to go to school tomorrow.
So we are going to go lay in Momma and Daddy's bed and watch TV and HOPEFULLY you fall back to sleep so we aren't crabby in the morning!!
I love you!
Love
Mom
Today you were so funny! You are everyday but today you had me and Daddy cracking up at you!
This morning we slept in until about 9am..then we got up out of bed around 11 and watched some TV and had Dora gummies for breakfast! Shh!
Then we took down our Christmas tree..I had to keep telling you that we got our presents from Santa and we will put it up again next year when we wait on Santa. You kept saying, "Otay"
We slept in so we missed morning church...so getting ready for evening church..you were a HOOT!
Daddy was in the shower trying to get cleaned up and you kept telling him to "Get out of the shower Daddy!"
So I started telling you to tell Daddy that we were going to leave him..and he better hurry up.
But ....you....added in your own words!!!
You told your daddy
"you better get out the shower in five minutes or we are leaving you little boy and i'm gonna fold you like a piece of paper"
All we could do was laugh!!
You have an attitude..let's be honest!! But it is way cute!!
You will tell Daddy you are going to "bust him in the head" sometimes...
but it is his fault because he teaches you all this attitude!!
Then on the way to church...Daddy turned right on red to go to church..and you told him that Sister Myers (our pastors wife and your Sunday school teacher) was going to get his butt for running the red light. Yes..you know that you are supposed to stop on red..and go on green!! And your not even three yet!!
You are so smart!!
When we got to church..Sister Myers DID get Daddy's butt for you!! and you just smiled!!
You didnt' take a nap today so after church on the way home you passed out!! So I took you in the house and slipped you into bed! But right now it is 11pm...and you woke up about an hour ago...so that didn't work out very well for momma because YOU and MOMMA have to go to school tomorrow.
So we are going to go lay in Momma and Daddy's bed and watch TV and HOPEFULLY you fall back to sleep so we aren't crabby in the morning!!
I love you!
Love
Mom
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Dear Lyla
I can not even begin to tell you how much you love your Nanny and PaPa.
Your daddy and I have been off work the past couple weeks for the Holidays so we have been spending some quality time up at Nanny and PaPa's house playing cards.
Mommy, Daddy, Nanny, and PaPa play cards and you either watch your shows on TV that you like or you help one of us play.
Right now you are really into Dora...eventhough Mickey Mouse used to be your world!!!
You always ask PaPa to get out your kitchen...because you have two of everything..one at your house and one at Nanny's house.
can you say spoiled?
Then for Christmas Nanny and PaPa got you an easel..so you have to have that out too ..before we even start playing cards.
Then on comes Dora. Oh..gotta get your pillows off the couch and on the floor so you can be comfortable while you watch TV. We can't forget about our baby dolls...which is an old Tickle Me Elmo, a Snoring Ernie, a blue puppy dog, and a bear I had as a kid. They each have thier own pillow to watch TV on.
While we play cards you usually cook us all purple cupcakes and whoever is the lucky one gets the big cupcake with the candle. And we all get spoons to eat our cupcakes with.
You are such a great girl! You are never any trouble...never throw fits or have tatrums. Although I hear it is supposed to start happening soon since you are two ...but I feel so lucky to have you that you could throw as many fits as you wanted and I will still love you with all I am.
We stayed up at Nanny and PaPa's house last night for New Years. We played games and you did your usual. You played so hard that you fell right asleep in the floor with your babies watching TV. So sweet!
We brought you home..put you to bed..and you never moved...you slept until 9:00am!
But we need to start getting you back on schedule because we have to start going back to school soon.
I am having my gall bladder taken out Tuesday. I would never show it..but I am pretty nervous about being put to sleep. There is so many complications that could happen. But somewhere in my heart I know that God would not let me miss out on your life.
Daddy is going to take you to preschool and Nanny is going to pick you up. Nanny will stay here with me and you while I don't feel good to help me take care of you until you go to sleep or until Daddy gets home.
Thank God for Nanny's, PaPa's, and good Daddy's!
I don't know what I would do with out them..and with out YOU!!
I love you SO SO SO much!!
Love,
Mom
Your daddy and I have been off work the past couple weeks for the Holidays so we have been spending some quality time up at Nanny and PaPa's house playing cards.
Mommy, Daddy, Nanny, and PaPa play cards and you either watch your shows on TV that you like or you help one of us play.
Right now you are really into Dora...eventhough Mickey Mouse used to be your world!!!
You always ask PaPa to get out your kitchen...because you have two of everything..one at your house and one at Nanny's house.
can you say spoiled?
Then for Christmas Nanny and PaPa got you an easel..so you have to have that out too ..before we even start playing cards.
Then on comes Dora. Oh..gotta get your pillows off the couch and on the floor so you can be comfortable while you watch TV. We can't forget about our baby dolls...which is an old Tickle Me Elmo, a Snoring Ernie, a blue puppy dog, and a bear I had as a kid. They each have thier own pillow to watch TV on.
While we play cards you usually cook us all purple cupcakes and whoever is the lucky one gets the big cupcake with the candle. And we all get spoons to eat our cupcakes with.
You are such a great girl! You are never any trouble...never throw fits or have tatrums. Although I hear it is supposed to start happening soon since you are two ...but I feel so lucky to have you that you could throw as many fits as you wanted and I will still love you with all I am.
We stayed up at Nanny and PaPa's house last night for New Years. We played games and you did your usual. You played so hard that you fell right asleep in the floor with your babies watching TV. So sweet!
We brought you home..put you to bed..and you never moved...you slept until 9:00am!
But we need to start getting you back on schedule because we have to start going back to school soon.
I am having my gall bladder taken out Tuesday. I would never show it..but I am pretty nervous about being put to sleep. There is so many complications that could happen. But somewhere in my heart I know that God would not let me miss out on your life.
Daddy is going to take you to preschool and Nanny is going to pick you up. Nanny will stay here with me and you while I don't feel good to help me take care of you until you go to sleep or until Daddy gets home.
Thank God for Nanny's, PaPa's, and good Daddy's!
I don't know what I would do with out them..and with out YOU!!
I love you SO SO SO much!!
Love,
Mom
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Dear Lyla,
You are cracking me up with how much you have been talking here lately! What is so funny is that you talk just like me.
Your daddy has been working 12 hour days this week..and you are really missing him. You get out your cell phone and you call him *pretend* and talk to him and tell him to come home now...or maybe you are griping him out....either one...it is sweet and funny!
i dont' know what i laughed at in life before i had you...you are such a joy and a fulfillment to me...I thank God that he gave you to me and your daddy....we both love you so much!
Yesterday me and your daddy have been married three years.
He got me flowers...and you told me he did because he loved me. That is precious. It is awesome that you know ...Daddy loves your momma...alot of kids don't know that...and don't have that. I am so proud that you do..and plan on it always being like that!
I love You!
love,
Momma
You are cracking me up with how much you have been talking here lately! What is so funny is that you talk just like me.
Your daddy has been working 12 hour days this week..and you are really missing him. You get out your cell phone and you call him *pretend* and talk to him and tell him to come home now...or maybe you are griping him out....either one...it is sweet and funny!
i dont' know what i laughed at in life before i had you...you are such a joy and a fulfillment to me...I thank God that he gave you to me and your daddy....we both love you so much!
Yesterday me and your daddy have been married three years.
He got me flowers...and you told me he did because he loved me. That is precious. It is awesome that you know ...Daddy loves your momma...alot of kids don't know that...and don't have that. I am so proud that you do..and plan on it always being like that!
I love You!
love,
Momma
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Dear Lyla,
Today you got to hang out with your Nanny and Pawpaw because the "thought" you were sick. Everytime you get sick at school...the next day i take you to your Nanny's house and you act just fine!
I think your faking! I hope you are...I don't like it when your sick.
I completely understand the saying now ..that when your child goes through something it almost hurts you more than it hurts them..because you want to fix everything...and you are literally my heart outside of my body and somtimes I just can't help you...sometimes I just can't fix it.
I hope you know that when you get older....I will always be here for you..to talk to ...to cry to...to vent to...but sometimes you just gotta learn things yourself and get through them yourself.
I had to..it was hard...but I am so glad things turned out the way they did. I am so happy in my life right now!
So after work I went straight up to my mom's to get you. We played. Baked cookies..I helped Uncle Colton with his homework while you and Nanny and PawPaw counted all the cows. Then you and Colton found some grasshoppers to torture..but did NOT want them anywhere near you!!! You and Colton played tents in the living room floor and finally when it was time to go because it was your bedtime...you would not leave!
You took Colton to his room..crawled up in his bed...and said you were staying and sleeping in Colton's bed.
The Queen had spoken!
So Nanny told me to let you stay...
I gave you sugars....hugs....and I love you's.....and made sure you knew that I was going home..and you couldn't have cared less!
I love that you love your Nanny, PawPaw, and Uncle Colton...and that you feel comfortable and safe enough to stay up there...and it gives me a little extra sleep time...since you like to party...then get up early!
When I got home I called about you...to make sure you were ok...and by the time I had gotten home..you had made Nanny fix you a cup...figured out that Colton doesn't have Mickey Mouse Clubhouse recorded on his TV ...left his room....went to the living room with Nanny...watched your shows..and went to sleep!
Have I ever told you how much I love you!
I love You!
Your momma!
Today you got to hang out with your Nanny and Pawpaw because the "thought" you were sick. Everytime you get sick at school...the next day i take you to your Nanny's house and you act just fine!
I think your faking! I hope you are...I don't like it when your sick.
I completely understand the saying now ..that when your child goes through something it almost hurts you more than it hurts them..because you want to fix everything...and you are literally my heart outside of my body and somtimes I just can't help you...sometimes I just can't fix it.
I hope you know that when you get older....I will always be here for you..to talk to ...to cry to...to vent to...but sometimes you just gotta learn things yourself and get through them yourself.
I had to..it was hard...but I am so glad things turned out the way they did. I am so happy in my life right now!
So after work I went straight up to my mom's to get you. We played. Baked cookies..I helped Uncle Colton with his homework while you and Nanny and PawPaw counted all the cows. Then you and Colton found some grasshoppers to torture..but did NOT want them anywhere near you!!! You and Colton played tents in the living room floor and finally when it was time to go because it was your bedtime...you would not leave!
You took Colton to his room..crawled up in his bed...and said you were staying and sleeping in Colton's bed.
The Queen had spoken!
So Nanny told me to let you stay...
I gave you sugars....hugs....and I love you's.....and made sure you knew that I was going home..and you couldn't have cared less!
I love that you love your Nanny, PawPaw, and Uncle Colton...and that you feel comfortable and safe enough to stay up there...and it gives me a little extra sleep time...since you like to party...then get up early!
When I got home I called about you...to make sure you were ok...and by the time I had gotten home..you had made Nanny fix you a cup...figured out that Colton doesn't have Mickey Mouse Clubhouse recorded on his TV ...left his room....went to the living room with Nanny...watched your shows..and went to sleep!
Have I ever told you how much I love you!
I love You!
Your momma!
The Story of Natalie
When I had been dating my high school sweetheart for about five years we made the ultimate teenage mistake and got pregnant. I say "teenage"...i was 18...he was 19..... but we had been together for so long..we had planned on getting married...we lived together....we acted and fought like a married couple..so it wasn't like it was a one night stand....if you can't tell it still kinda irks me that I made the mistake...He was the man i was going to marry...we had it planned...I knew I was spending the rest of my life with him...so I let my guard down...and well...kids...it only takes one time....
but ..anyway....He did what most teenage men do...."It isn't mine!"
We lived together!!! Hello!! We were together 24/7. It wasn't immaculate conception.
Then it was , "Well she is just trying to trap me"
Ok..if I am trapping you..then I am trapping me too..because I am the one who has grow up and take responsibility for this baby whether you want to or not...not to mention my once beautiful teenage body will never be the same.
Now ...being the adult that I am...I understand where he was coming from...it was scary....all of sudden realizing that you are going to be responsible for someone's life...We were in the stage of dreaming about buying land and building our own house with horses and chicken..our own little farm...picket fence and all...at the time...it REALLY sucked for me...I wish he would have been there for me emotionally more...but i understand now...not that it is justifiable...but i get where he was coming from...
I didn't have a choice...the baby was inside ME...i couldn't run...or hide....time to tell dad
He went with me to tell dad...cause we weren't real sure how dad was going to react...
my dad....being the priceless man that he is...says "Good Job Nik!"
ok
thanks dad
needless to say my dad was not happy but it was done and he was OK..we started to plan the nursery and had everything on the road to getting ready for the arrival of the little one.
We had our kids names already picked out...we picked them out years ago.....Natalie Faye for a girl...and Ethan David for a boy... both the names were family names...Faye is after my middle name...and my grandmother's name on my father's side..... David was his middle name and my dad's name..and his dad's name
One night ..I started to cramp. Not bad at first. My dad came home early from work..because he had to go pick up my uncle for some reason...he asked if i would be ok...I said yes...but i wish I said No....
I felt so guilty though...already being pregnant and not having a house of our own...not being married yet...i didn't want to cause anymore trouble than i had to
By that morning..my cramps were so bad that I had to call my aunt to take me to the hospital to see what was going on....
When I got to the hospital...the Dr checked me..and said everything was fine...probably just Braxton Hicks contractions.
I went downstairs to leave and my water broke. I was seven months pregnant.
My body would not dialate...I had to have the baby naturally ...I was in labor for what seemed like forever....but however long it was....it was to long..and the baby didn't make it.
I don't remember alot of the details about what happen that day...or a few days after...and some things that happened in my past...i don't remember...
maybe it was all so traumatic to me that my brain just blocked it all out...some one told me that i might have had to much anthestic and it could have messed with my memory...
but one thing that i can still see vividly to this day...seven years later...is her face....her hands....fingers..toes...her hair...her nose and lips...her complexion....she looked like him but had a little bit of me in her.
To this day I don't know why they didn't do an emergency C section ..only God knows...and I am not supposed to question that...I won't lie..because at the time i did...I have always wanted to be a momma...i know i wasn't particularly ready at the moment...but i was getting there...i had grown up and getting ready....I wondered why God would do that me....I had always gone to church...I pray...Why me? Why not some druggy that don't even deserve kids...
But i think that is why i teach preschool now...because i know now how precious children are...how fragile they are...how much God loves them....and what a huge impact adults are to them
For whatever reason...I know that I am in God's hands....and so is Natalie Faye...
I pray for her...and my ex...and all my family that had to go through that with me...and I thank God that somehow all that heartache and pain...led me to Gregg...
and eventhough sometimes we clash....he loves me..and respects that part of my life...and I love him even more for that...
and none the less...meeting Gregg gave me Lyla...and having gone through the pregnancy with Natalie...I wasn't as scared and stressed when i was pregnant with Lyla...and thank God she is happy and healthy and doesn't have one thing wrong with her ..besides her momma's sarcastic attitude
So for whatever reason I have one baby in Heaven and one with me here on Earth.....
I think about Natalie everyday...I miss her like crazy...and yes...even seven years later...i still cry..it still hurts..but you learn to control the tears and the pain...and try to find the good ...
I take Lyla with me to visit her and talk to her...I know that Lyla has a special angel in heaven watching her...and that makes me smile..
And I thank God that I have a God in heaven that knows all my mistakes, forgives me, lets me start all over again and again........and loves me anyway!
I love you Natalie!
Love, Mom
I baby my baby
That's right...I spoil her..I baby her..she is my princess...
This past week my husband has been on first shift...so we have the evening together with Lyla..he has been a huge help...I wish it would have lasted forever..but today started back to reality...
While my husband was home..he put Lyla to bed a few nights...I got to where I missed rocking my baby to sleep..
I still rock her to sleep...she will be two next month...and I sing to her...then I quietly lay her down in bed when she is off in dreamland...
When did you all stop rocking your babies? When do you just put them to bed and have them fall asleep on thier own?
I have to say I will completely miss the rocking and singing and cuddling when she starts to put herself to sleep...
So ...no matter what anyone else thinks...I baby my baby!
My Personal Coffee Maker
I always wake up a little earlier than everyone else in the morning. I get my shower in silence..start to fix my hair and make up...and usually by then Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on the TV...and husband is asking me to turn off lights so he can sleep (he works second shift) ...
But this morning went a little different....
I woke up ..earlier than everyone else...I got my shower..fixed my hair...and was doing my make up when my little angel awoke from her dreamland...
got straight out of OUR bed that she had climbed into the night before...
and went straight to her room...
so being the inquiring mother that i am....i followed her....
she went to her kitchen...and started "cooking" something...
So I say Good Morning to her and she turns around quickly and says,
"Momma, you want some coffee?"
:)
How can you pass that up?
So of course I said yes..and we woke up dad to see if he wanted some too...he did.
We all three sat in the middle of our bedroom floor and had our morning coffee that Lyla made.
Precious, Precious times......
But this morning went a little different....
I woke up ..earlier than everyone else...I got my shower..fixed my hair...and was doing my make up when my little angel awoke from her dreamland...
got straight out of OUR bed that she had climbed into the night before...
and went straight to her room...
so being the inquiring mother that i am....i followed her....
she went to her kitchen...and started "cooking" something...
So I say Good Morning to her and she turns around quickly and says,
"Momma, you want some coffee?"
:)
How can you pass that up?
So of course I said yes..and we woke up dad to see if he wanted some too...he did.
We all three sat in the middle of our bedroom floor and had our morning coffee that Lyla made.
Precious, Precious times......
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Dear Lyla,
Every Wednesday before church I go to Sister Shana's house and do a Bible Study. I have learned many things..and I am super excited that I am digging deep into God's word. I want you to grow up knowing why you believe what you do..and having faith in God to get through anything. I wasn't raised in church..so I grew up confused and lonely..I always knew God was there...but I didn't realize just how much I can depend on him. I don't want you to have any confusion...I want you to stand on a rock and Praise God! You make me want to be the best mom I can be...and I hope I am doing a good job!
Tonight was Bible Study night..and most of the time you usually go over to your Aunt Candace's house and play with Landon before church...tonight though Aunt Candace started having contractions with Baby Jayden in her belly and had to go to the ER. So you went with me to Sister Shana's. The whole reason for this letter is for me to tell you how proud I am of you. You are so nice and polite. You sat there with me like a big girl and actually listened to the Bible Study. I hope you learned something. I hope that God works wonders in your life. He has already touched your heart..literally...but that is for another letter...so I know he can do amazing things!I am so proud of the little lady that you are growing up to be..and your only 2!
I love You!
Love,
Your Momma
Every Wednesday before church I go to Sister Shana's house and do a Bible Study. I have learned many things..and I am super excited that I am digging deep into God's word. I want you to grow up knowing why you believe what you do..and having faith in God to get through anything. I wasn't raised in church..so I grew up confused and lonely..I always knew God was there...but I didn't realize just how much I can depend on him. I don't want you to have any confusion...I want you to stand on a rock and Praise God! You make me want to be the best mom I can be...and I hope I am doing a good job!
Tonight was Bible Study night..and most of the time you usually go over to your Aunt Candace's house and play with Landon before church...tonight though Aunt Candace started having contractions with Baby Jayden in her belly and had to go to the ER. So you went with me to Sister Shana's. The whole reason for this letter is for me to tell you how proud I am of you. You are so nice and polite. You sat there with me like a big girl and actually listened to the Bible Study. I hope you learned something. I hope that God works wonders in your life. He has already touched your heart..literally...but that is for another letter...so I know he can do amazing things!I am so proud of the little lady that you are growing up to be..and your only 2!
I love You!
Love,
Your Momma
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Bind together.
Dear Lyla,
I pray that when you get older that you know the value of "family". I have tried to instill that in you. Your family is all you have in this world. When things fall apart..we will be there. If you need to cry,sob, weap..we will be there. If you wanna jump for joy, smile, sing, praise God...we will be there! No matter what happens..what you do...where you go...Your daddy and I will always be here..good or bad..happy or sad...we are here! I want you to know that! I want you to know also that we will love you...forever..unconditionally. That means no matter you do or think...we will love you. So many people now a days are distancing themselves from thier family. That is just what the devil wants. If a family ever binds together in Jesus name ...that shakes the devils boots. I am so glad and praise God that we are bound together in Jesus name! Your dad's side of the family for some reason...doesn't feel the need to bind with us. I don't know why. We have never done anything to them. We try to talk to them...try to take them out to lunch...it just doesn't work. The only time they see you is when we take you to church. Now your old enough to go into Sunday School Class..then you hang in the nursery during big church and play with your friends..so now they really don't even see you at church. There is never just a drop by visit...or pick you up from preschool...nothing. Why? I don't know. But no matter what happens with anyone or anything..me and your dad...will always be here for you! You absolutely love your Nanny Carol and Papa James..along with your Papa David and Uncle Colton...they visit...they pick you up from preschool just to hang out...they are very active in your life...and I pray that you will always feel comfortable enough to come talk to one of us who truly love you and are invested in your life being the best possible life that it can be!
Love,
Your momma
I pray that when you get older that you know the value of "family". I have tried to instill that in you. Your family is all you have in this world. When things fall apart..we will be there. If you need to cry,sob, weap..we will be there. If you wanna jump for joy, smile, sing, praise God...we will be there! No matter what happens..what you do...where you go...Your daddy and I will always be here..good or bad..happy or sad...we are here! I want you to know that! I want you to know also that we will love you...forever..unconditionally. That means no matter you do or think...we will love you. So many people now a days are distancing themselves from thier family. That is just what the devil wants. If a family ever binds together in Jesus name ...that shakes the devils boots. I am so glad and praise God that we are bound together in Jesus name! Your dad's side of the family for some reason...doesn't feel the need to bind with us. I don't know why. We have never done anything to them. We try to talk to them...try to take them out to lunch...it just doesn't work. The only time they see you is when we take you to church. Now your old enough to go into Sunday School Class..then you hang in the nursery during big church and play with your friends..so now they really don't even see you at church. There is never just a drop by visit...or pick you up from preschool...nothing. Why? I don't know. But no matter what happens with anyone or anything..me and your dad...will always be here for you! You absolutely love your Nanny Carol and Papa James..along with your Papa David and Uncle Colton...they visit...they pick you up from preschool just to hang out...they are very active in your life...and I pray that you will always feel comfortable enough to come talk to one of us who truly love you and are invested in your life being the best possible life that it can be!
Love,
Your momma
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Marriage
September 29, 2007
Me and your Daddy on our wedding day
Dear Lyla,
My idea of the perfect wedding was something that when someone walks in they can tell whose wedding it is. It would be a reflection of you! Mine was. It was totally me. That is what everyone said about it. It was great! Marrying your Daddy was the best day ever. He looked so handsome. He was nervous and cute. It was traditional and timeless. After the wedding would be a wonderful reception with family and friends. We would eat, talk, dance. When your daddy and I left..everyone threw birdseed...the truck was all decorated. We came home to rest a minute in OUR apartment then went on our honeymoon. We didn't want to go far away...we didn't want to stay gone for three weeks. We just wanted to be together with no time limits or responsibilities and just enjoy each other being husband and wife. I think we called each other Mr and Mrs Brewer all night long! We went to the nicest hotel in the city and stayed for three days. In my imagination the ending to the perfect wedding was starting a family on your honeymoon. I mean, to me..that is why you get married..to be able to start your own family. Your dad and I both wish for you. A little girl. We didnt know when God would give you to us or how. But we knew that we were ready ...whenever the time came ...to love you unconditionally and give you the best life possible.
Dear Lyla,
I pray that you continue to sing and be as happy as you are at this very moment. You are singing me Wheels on the Bus and your ABC's. Everytime you sing it brings a smile to my face...no matter what I am dealing with at the moment...everything stops to listen to you! It is a joy!
Keep Singing!
Love,
Your Momma
I pray that you continue to sing and be as happy as you are at this very moment. You are singing me Wheels on the Bus and your ABC's. Everytime you sing it brings a smile to my face...no matter what I am dealing with at the moment...everything stops to listen to you! It is a joy!
Keep Singing!
Love,
Your Momma
Monday, August 30, 2010
Dear Lyla,
Yesterday your Nanny and Poppa came over to help Daddy finish the floor in your room. It looks amazing. When you got to go in there...you said "I LOVE IT" You are so funny!
While you were napping..I went to church and when I got back I let your Nanny wake you up. When you finally woke up we took Nanny to the park and showed her how you slide down the big slide all by yourself. It makes me crazy that you do it..but you do a good job..I just worry! You are getting so big. I know I will say that for the rest of your life but you are! After we played at the park we ran by Wal Mart to get a few things for a boy that we go to church with who is living behind our church.
His grandpa kicked him out and he had no where to go. So we took him a few things and invited him over to just hang out for a while. You and Uncle Colton made him feel very welcome. He said he enjoyed himself.
Daddy and I bought you a Power Wheels four wheeler for you birthday and you will NOT ride the thing. You won't push the button to make it go. I have tried and tried to show you how fun it would be...even tried giving you candy! Uncle Colton comes over and says ..hey get on there and show me how you ride it..and you just hop right on and take off!
Stinker!
Supper is cooking right now and you are getting hungry.
Love you with all my heart!
Love,
Your Momma
Yesterday your Nanny and Poppa came over to help Daddy finish the floor in your room. It looks amazing. When you got to go in there...you said "I LOVE IT" You are so funny!
While you were napping..I went to church and when I got back I let your Nanny wake you up. When you finally woke up we took Nanny to the park and showed her how you slide down the big slide all by yourself. It makes me crazy that you do it..but you do a good job..I just worry! You are getting so big. I know I will say that for the rest of your life but you are! After we played at the park we ran by Wal Mart to get a few things for a boy that we go to church with who is living behind our church.
His grandpa kicked him out and he had no where to go. So we took him a few things and invited him over to just hang out for a while. You and Uncle Colton made him feel very welcome. He said he enjoyed himself.
Daddy and I bought you a Power Wheels four wheeler for you birthday and you will NOT ride the thing. You won't push the button to make it go. I have tried and tried to show you how fun it would be...even tried giving you candy! Uncle Colton comes over and says ..hey get on there and show me how you ride it..and you just hop right on and take off!
Stinker!
Supper is cooking right now and you are getting hungry.
Love you with all my heart!
Love,
Your Momma
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Dear Lyla,
I can't believe that you are already two! I have had you for two years. God has let me keep you safe and sound for two years. I feel so blessed!
You are such a smart girl. You sing me your ABC's and you count to ten before you bail off the bed and hope that I catch you. You love to sing..and I love to sing with you. We will sing at the top of our lungs dancing around the house and laugh until we cry! You are so much fun to be around. You are so happy and I just adore you!
Right now you are in the living room playing with your doll house while Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on the TV in the bedroom. But without a doubt if I go and turn the channel..you will know and come running.
I pray that you keep singing and dancing. Never let go of the joy you have. It makes you beautiful. All this makeup and skinny jeans that this world is offering...is not beauty. Stay beautiful on the inside and keep smiling...because you have the best smile in the world! I love you!
It is almost time to start getting ready for church so I am going to go snatch you up and cuddle with you until we have to get ready!
Love you,
Your Momma
I can't believe that you are already two! I have had you for two years. God has let me keep you safe and sound for two years. I feel so blessed!
You are such a smart girl. You sing me your ABC's and you count to ten before you bail off the bed and hope that I catch you. You love to sing..and I love to sing with you. We will sing at the top of our lungs dancing around the house and laugh until we cry! You are so much fun to be around. You are so happy and I just adore you!
Right now you are in the living room playing with your doll house while Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on the TV in the bedroom. But without a doubt if I go and turn the channel..you will know and come running.
I pray that you keep singing and dancing. Never let go of the joy you have. It makes you beautiful. All this makeup and skinny jeans that this world is offering...is not beauty. Stay beautiful on the inside and keep smiling...because you have the best smile in the world! I love you!
It is almost time to start getting ready for church so I am going to go snatch you up and cuddle with you until we have to get ready!
Love you,
Your Momma
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
